Keeping up with the Junior Joneses

I was wondering about baby Alex’s food choices today.  He’s 15 months, and I figure he should probably be eating less mooshy food, and more grown up fare.  So, I asked my yummy mummy group what their kids are eating.  Oh, nothing much, just



Steamed veg medley

Mini Pizza

Fish fingers



Awesome.  So, I should just get my kid fitted for a helmet now.


I own a number of books about baby/toddler development, and have thus far refused to read them, for this very reason.  I OBSESS over every perceived flaw or difficulty.  In some ways it’s good – it was being uber anal about my infant son’s weight loss that we helped to identify his lactose intolerance, but in most every other way it’s bad.  Don’t get me wrong, my kid is fabulous – early pincher grip, doesn’t bite, and is a master block stacker.  For serious, the boy can stack some blocks.  You don’t even wanna be steppin’ in my house with no unstacked blocks, or he will straight stack those, ya heaaaaarrrrd me?  But he doesn’t say much more than the occasional mama, dada, baba (food),bye, and today was play.  He doesn’t know his body parts, he walks with finger help, but not on his own, and — see how ridiculous I am getting?  All I see is the negative, and by extension, my failures as a parent. I let him watch tv – BAD.  I haven’t taken his binkies away yet – BAD.  He still has his night-time bottle of milk versus beaker of milk – OMYGODWHYAREYOURAISINGASERIALKILLER?!?!  So I panic, and look up the schedules of every children’s center within 5 miles of me, convinced that we’re going to hit every playgroup that they offer.  And when we miss them, I beat myself up, and drown my sorrows in a bowl of ice cream while my kid watches Horrible History for the 3rd time that day.

I understand now why there are Tiger Mothers, women who push for absolute perfection in their progeny – I feel as though I have failed if he is not perfect.  How fucked in the head is that?  My wonderful, sweet little boy *IS* perfect.  He’s the perfect 15 month old named Alex.  That should be good enough for me.  That will be good enough for me.

No one should keep up with anyone, just be the best Jones they can be.