One Foot Moments
This has been an…unusual week. Weapon has spent more time of his life in the hospital than out of it, with his addition of a new fun game on Saturday night that I like to call ‘You Can’t Wake Me’. Basically, nothing we did would rouse him from the deepest sleep. Sometimes he would grasp our hands, sometimes his arms would flop at his sides. Sometimes he would stir, sometimes he would not – all while refusing to open his eyes. Wouldn’t wake up for Mummy and Daddy, wouldn’t wake up for the nice ambulance people, and only woke up in the children’s ER ward at Chelsea and Westminster really when they did another heel prick test for jaundice. Luckily his levels were below having to do light therapy, but they did keep him overnight for observation. So, yeah. Fun game.
Every single day we face a new challenge, but every single day we have a triumph in our life. For instance:
Day 1: Had kid.
Day 2: Got through first full night in post-natal ward without Monkey.
Day 3: Got through second night, and started ‘topping up’ with formula. (I don’t want to do formula, but my milk hadn’t/hasn’t properly come in yet, due to among other things the traumatic birth and subsequent sleep deprivation).
Day 4: We get to go home!
Day 5: We have our first night at home as a family. We make it!
Day 6: I get to talk to my friend Kristi in the States about the issues I am having (freak outs about Weapon, etc), and I feel so much better.
Day 7: Weapon decides to play the new game ‘You Can’t Wake Me’, and we don’t lose our heads entirely, we do the right thing and take him to A&E.
Day 8: Weapon is home, and while we have a VERY long night, we get through it.
Day 9: Midwife arrives, weighs Weapon, he is gaining weight nicely, and she says his latch and my bf posture looks great!
In the darkest hours, I try to remember that we are taking baby steps, and putting one foot in front of the other is the only way for us to learn. I will (time and energy permitting) try to put up a ‘One Foot Moment’ every day, to remind myself that while it’s hard, there are moments of pure victory every day – you just have to look for them super hard some times. 😉
Kristi is discussing.
Kristi 3:07 am on February 1, 2011 Permalink |
Girl. You know you are a great mom. Remember when you had to learn that pb&j's are cut a certain way? You triumphed and didn't break a sweat. You will perservere, you will triumph. And the day he says: "I love you, mommy" will forever remain in infamy. Those days get you through. The days they will only be calmed by you, regardless of how tired you are and sleep deprived and however much you want them to go to their dad – just long enough to get a shower. You will fall asleep on the couch with him, and snuggle, and remember, that you are mommy, and only you matter. And you will be sad the day he only wants dad. 😉 More victories than fails/ falls. I promise.