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  • Monkey 10:14 am on August 22, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: dad, lettertoalex,   

    Dear 19-month-old Kid … 

    You’re going to be 19 months old tomorrow. And yes, for the last three months (at least) you’ve been walking, making the odd noise and using me as your exo-skeleton and pointing in the general direction of places you want to go to when you can’t be bothered to walk there.

    Indeed, we’ve managed to put you on a harness and let you walk wherever you want to. You love climbing stairs and steps, but have yet to realise that when there’s vertical space between you and the ground, that’s generally a dangerous thing. You’re also fascinated by opening and closing doors, even if you fail to notice the real hand opening and closing them, and the fact you’ve had your finger trapped in the hinges once already.

    But in the last couple of days you’ve managed to surprise me even more. How? The noises you’ve been making are starting to sound suspiciously like consonants. And they’ve come with a happy lilt. Now, I may be reading too much into this, but I get the feeling that you’re getting the handle on how to be expressive, and you’re quite happy about it too.

    Plus you’ve now stopped screaming when I leave the house for work.

    Love you!


  • Monkey 1:30 pm on June 20, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: dad, fathersday   

    When will I feel like a Dad? 

    At midnight last night, dearest Hyperham presented me with a Father’s Day card “from” Alex, which took me a little by surprise. Not because I hadn’t realised it was Father’s Day – we were in the ancestral home to quasi-celebrate Father’s Day with my Dad – but because I still don’t quite yet 100% feel like a Dad yet.

    Oh, to be sure, I try to do as much as I can, as time/energy allows. I change nappies, try to feed him, burp him, read him a bedtime story he has no possibility of understanding, and scheme to try and make this his lullaby of choice. And sure, I could do more but then, couldn’t anyone really?

    But it’s hard to relate to a small being who essentially sleeps, mewls, poos, screams and sleeps again. Even if he does have a huge mega-wattage smile. And my hair – even to the point of losing it already, poor chap.

    It does somewhat feel like the stork flew over my head, and plopped him in my arms and told me to look after him for eternity. Which we will … but somewhere in the back of my mind, there’s a feeling that he’s not really mine. And I don’t think that feeling will go away till he really starts engaging with me in a manner that I can understand in some way.

    Or maybe when I can spin the lil’ chap around like this. I’ve had the privilege of spinning friends’ and relatives’ kids around a couple of times, and that is a sure-fire way to feel Dad-like. Or at least Uncle-like. Then again, I already do Superman impressions with Monkey…

    Anyway, have a happy Post-Fathers’-Day Monday!

    • Mosh 2:46 pm on June 20, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      I think you're right with the "engaging" thing. I *do* feel like a dad as, over the last 8 months, I've been there for "ouch's", tantrums, bedtime stories, tellings-off, rewards, new experiences, helping with homeworks, dealing with huffs and so on.

      I doubt it's any less work, but the feedback is… impossible to put properly into words. I'm *not* a dad insomuch as the kids are mine, but I am as far as taking on the role – which seems to be being understood and rewarded.

    • Aguamoose 1:12 am on December 29, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      Ok, just for a second imagine the harm that someone could do to your child. I know, it hurts. But for just one second imagine one tiny bit of fear or pain in those little eyes? What would you do to take that pain away?

      Have you ever sat back and looked into your child's eyes and wondered what they think of you? Have you ever just thought one second about them not being in you life?

      It is not a case of what you feel, or what the movies have told you. You are responsible for this child. You are this child's hope, it;s role model, its future. Pull your head out of your arse and look past your own needs and wants.

      Fatherhood is one of the most rewarding things in the world if you are willing to accept the challenge. And that is not even the best reason to do so.

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