My vagina is a transformer – and other thoughts at 3am 

In about 6 hours I have a midwife appointment, where they will hopefully do a cervical sweep which will hopefully start the process of hopefully having this kid.  Normally you don’t induce – even in a ‘natural’, non chemical fashion - for another week or so, but I am soooooo big and soooooo uncomfortable that I’ll try anything at this point.  I’m fighting a cold, and haven’t been sleeping the last…oh, 6 months or so, which makes me slightly loopier than normal, and that says something.

WeaponX was a surprise, to be sure.  The day we registered our marriage intent with the local ‘city hall’ here, I was in awful pain, and we called the doc’s office for a check up the next morning.  That night we called NHS Direct, where I described my issues and the very sweet Scottish nurse said, ‘Ye wouldn’t be pregnant than, would ye?’.  Uh, no.  No I would not.  It was only the next morning when the doc absentmindedly mentioned that pregnancy has some of the same issues I was describing that I got a wee bit nervous, and stopped off at the pharmacy on the way home.  Pack of two generic tests, no worries.

Oh crap. 

You know how it tells you to pee on the stick, and then wait like 2 minutes?  Yeah, I didn’t even have time to put the stick down on the tub before two bright pink lines showed up. 

I emailed Monkey.  This is the entirety of the email: 

“Can you pick me up a pregnancy test? They usually come in packs of 2, that would be a good one. 
And a big mac.”

His response, in entirety:


Must preserve this email for all posterity 😉

What are the chances of that being the case, out of interest?”

My reply?

“Go to the pharmacy.  Like, NOW.”


So, 4 pee sticky tests and 1 digital blue test later (because Monkey wouldn’t believe the analog test kits), we sat in stunned silence eating McDonald’s. 


I’m not going to say it’s been easy.  It hasn’t.  I’m bipolar, and dealing with hormones plus losing my meds has been rough.  Morning sickness is a lie – it was all day vomiting that lasted till the 22nd week, and I still vomit once a week or two now (and I’m at my due date!).  We had to plan and execute 2 weddings before I was 12 weeks along, and that was a major stress on both of us.  And of course, I had just moved to this continent a few months prior – the usual support was gone, I just had Monkey.  Luckily for me, Monkey was a rock, and held my hair with every vomit session, rubbed my back when I sobbed through the pain and hormones and chemical imbalances and such, brought me doughnuts and Filet o Fish sammiches when I was dying for them, did it all. 

So here we are.  It’s not the perfect first year we would have planned together, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  And within 2 weeks, there will be a new addition.  We have no idea what we’re having – hence us naming the fetus WeaponX.  For those that don’t get the reference, Logan/Wolverine from the X-Men was known as WeaponX when he was at the super secret military facility.  This is how I visually explained it to Monkey (not work safe language):  Shall I call you Logan, WeaponX?  And if that doesn’t explain why we are called a ‘geek family’, I don’t know what will.  🙂

It’s quarter to 5 now.  The heartburn is killing me, and I know I will be tired the rest of the day.  My tummy keeps tightening up (Braxton Hicks contractions), and my skin itches.  That’s okay though.  It’s all worth it in the end.  We’re a team.  We can do it.