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  • HyperHam 11:43 am on April 27, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , The Kid,   

    Making our Way 

    It’s 14 weeks or so for us, and we are hitting our stride as a fam (I think!). Weapon feeds 4 or 5 times a day, and sleeps through the night. The new formula/breastfeeding schedule is working well – he gets boobie at each feed, and I don’t feel as much as a loser for not being able to fully nuture him. His expressions are really nuanced now – he lets me know when he is happy, sad, tired, upset, etc. We still have tough moments, but we are making it, one foot in front of the other. We leave for the US in about 3 weeks or so, after being in a car for 11 hours one way this weekend, a 7 hour plane ride is nothing! ūüėČ

    • Kristi W. 4:39 pm on April 27, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      And walking around and bouncing him in the plane is WAY easier. Also, bring a bottle, paci, or your boobs for if/when his ears start to bother him. Give him one of the three at take off and landing. Sucking will help the ears.

      Can't wait to see you all!

      I knew you would hit your stride. Was always confident of that.

  • HyperHam 10:58 am on April 26, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: The Kid, , wales   

    Joys of Travel 

    I’ll have to do a proper post about the wonderful time we had in Wales, but for now, a moment on travelling with a baby.


    A 5.5 hour drive took 11 hours on the way there, and 9 hours on the way back (on the way there we hit Costco to shop). The way there was pretty uneventful, some fussing and such but nothing severe.

    HOWEVER, the way back was…


    There is nothing so demoralizing as going through the baby checklist and not being able to figure out what the hell is going on. For those wondering, the baby checklist is:

    Is baby intact (not bleeding, no bones broken, etc)?
    Is baby warm (but not too warm, cool but not too cool, etc)?
    Is baby fed?
    Is baby dry?
    Is baby burped?

    After running through the checklist, it becomes a guessing game of verbal and nonverbal cues from the baby (screaming, hands clenched, red eyes, sweaty, etc). When you are at home, it’s difficult. When you are at someone else’s home, it’s exceedingly difficult. When you are on the M456 and it’s stop and go traffic with 3 lanes because of an accident 5 miles ahead, and there isn’t an exit for 10 miles, it’s WTFMOMMYISNOTAMINDREADER. So baby is screaming and crying so powerfully he is making himself choke, Mommy is in the backseat desperately trying to figure out what the hell is wrong, Monkey is driving 5 miles an hour with no end to gridlock in sight, and poor sister of Monkey is wondering why the hell she ever got a ride home to England with this horror show in the backseat.

    There are certain things you always tell yourself you will or will not ever do with a child. I will never strike my child. I will never drink and take care of my kid. I will immunize. Etc, etc. I always said I will never have my child unstrapped in a car. Well, after a solid hour of screaming (and we are still bumper to bumper) that went straight out the window. I tried first to comfort nurse him with him in the seat (apologies to anyone else on the road who saw a crazy lady leaned over from her seat, whip out her boob and shove it in her kids mouth while they were driving), but that made him even more upset. Sigh. Fuck. Sigh.

    So, I gingerly unbuckled him, and sitting in my seat, nursed and burped him until he was slightly calm. He settled down for about 15 mins, when I was able to strap him back in. This bliss stayed for about 30 mins, then…he lost it *again*. We made our way to the shoulder, and Monkey got my bag from the trunk. Cue me doing ANOTHER thing I said I would never do – drug my kid. 2 mls of Calpol later (a full 3 mls less than the normal dosage, for those who are about to call social services on me), he was finally asleep, and I was weeping openly (as was poor Monkey’s sis, it was *that* intense in the car). Not long that after the road cleared, and we hightailed it to Monkey’s sis’s house where I could feed/burp/massage my boy in peace.

    I still don’t really know what upset him so much – we were stopping every 2 hours for breaks, he was on schedule for feeds, etc. I guess we’ll never know. He took an enormous nap this morning, worn out after his ordeal. Ah, parenthood.

  • HyperHam 12:34 pm on March 15, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , The Kid   


    Dear Alex;

    Over the weekend a very bad thing happened.¬† Two mean old tectonic plates under the ocean didn’t want to play nice, and hit each other, and the water above them shook and splashed and came onto the land of an island called Japan, and hurt a lot of people.¬† Now, the good and wonderful thing is lots of people are helping out and trying to make sure all the Mummies and Daddies find their babies, and that is what makes me happy to be a human – we can show such love when we want to.¬†

    When you were very little, so little and hidden we couldn’t see you without a big machine, I asked your forgiveness.¬† I told you that people might be mean to you based on how you looked, or because of your nationality.¬†¬† Your mummy looks different than you and Daddy, so she does not have to deal with those issues.¬† You will have to.

    A very stupid stupid girl went on the Internet and decided to make a fool of herself.¬† This is not odd, Alex.¬† People make fools of themselves on the internet every day.¬† But she decided to make fun of people who look like you.¬† Mummy does not like that.¬† There’s not a lot she can do about it though – it’s called racism.¬† Racism is when someone doesn’t like someone else, not because they know each other, but because of what they think about each other.¬† It is ignorant.¬†

    UCLA racist girl

    Some people also decided that the nice folks in Japan who got hurt somehow deserved it, because about 65 years ago they were mean to us.  These people are also ignorant, and lack a basic understanding of fault lines.  http://spaceghetto.org/images/efyye.jpg 

    These people are very dumb, it is¬†true.¬† When you find them under the rocks (which are their homes), and they yell at you, I don’t want¬†you to be¬†angry,¬†my son.¬† I want¬†you to feel sorry for them.¬† You¬†see, they had the chance¬†to learn,¬†from school, from libraries, from the machines they are writing their hatred on.¬† The girl in the first video, Alexandra Wallace?¬† She was going to college.¬† That’s big people school!¬† Her parents paid¬†a lot of money for her to¬†take classes every day.¬† They paid for her apartment.¬† I bet they even paid for her computer and camera that she was talking through.¬† She had every opportunity to make herself more aware of her world, opportunities that most people will never ever have, and she chose to close her eyes and ears, and make herself ignorant.¬†¬†¬†The people on facebook like Deborah Lawson, John Higgins, Jerry Kopp, Joe Cansdale, and the people on the radio who blame it on Islam, and the people from the pulpit who blame it on homosexuality,and many other willfully stupid people¬†– they are to be pitied, like we would pity a dumb animal.¬† They had a chance to learn about history (and religion, and lithosphere), but they chose not to.¬† They choose to wallow in hatred and ignorance, till one day it devours their soul and they are left with nothing but a memory of what it was to once have goodness in their life.¬†

    They are to be pitied.  Because they are pitiful. 

    I am lucky, my son.¬† I have you, the most wonderful thing in the Universe, in my life.¬† You give me the strength to not find each one of these vile little creatures and beat them down, or make their online life a living hell.¬† You give me the joy to say to myself ‘These silly people are not worth my time’.¬† You give me the hope to believe their hatred and stupidity will die with them.

    I am still sorry, though. 

    I am sorry that people who look like Mummy will say bad things to you and Daddy, or to people who look like you two.¬† I’m sorry I can’t shield you from this.¬† And when I get really angry, I’m sorry Daddy won’t let me bootstomp these people into oblivion.¬†

    All I can do is hold you and Daddy close.¬† Luckily, I am very good at that!¬† ūüôā



  • HyperHam 3:31 pm on February 15, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , The Kid   

    typing one handed for the second day in a row because baby is asleep on my chest. he can’t sleep unless he is propped up on his tummy as his gas seems so bad nothig works – put him in his crib, he arches his back, screams and tears up in pain. poor thing, it kills me to see him hurting.

    i lost it a little earlier, someone in a comm was talking about their birth plan, and remembering our birth i just began to cry. everyone kept saying ‘difficult pregnancy, easy baby’…yet we’re dealing with jaundice, my milk supply not being enough, reflux, you name it. baby steps, baby steps. one foot in front of another. i can do this. we can do this.

    it will be okay.

    • Mags 8:45 pm on February 15, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      Do NOT beat yourself up over how things are going. We ended up readmitted due to feeding problems, and then on the breast/bottle combi (with expressing as well!). As well as the benefits of both, you get the drawbacks (endless bottle-making etc). Eventually, I told the HV I couldn’t do it any more and reduced the amount of feeds I did. We hung on till the first jabs, then moved over to just bottles. We’re now reducing those as solids step up and that early distress over feeding means I’m twitching about the reduction in milk!

      It DOES get better and you can do it.

      Oh, and to go with the Dr Brown bottles, has the HV suggested a comfort formula? We use Aptamil Comfort which eases constipation and colic – don’t know if it helps with reflux…

  • Monkey 1:01 am on February 10, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , The Kid   

    An average day goes like this:

    12am – Having fed the baby, we’re both in bed, desperately trying to get some sleep while the baby stirs and makes the odd sound.

    3am/4am – the baby wakes up, screaming and desperate for food. So we begin the feeding ritual, which takes at least an hour in all.

    4am/5am – the baby is fed, but won’t be placated so I usually take on the mantle of trying to placate him all morning via a combination of holding, swinging and walking. It never works for more than two minutes at a time, and then suddenly he’ll literally drop asleep in my arms and I can’t move for fear of waking him. In the meantime, @HyperHam is back in bed getting some much needed sleep.

    9am – @HyperHam wakes up, and finds me desperately sleep-groggled, and usually in a vague state of panic and loss. She takes over the baby-watching duties, and I stumble into bed.

    1pm – we’re both up, sleep-addled and not quite ready for the daily list of chores, health visitors or other things that need doing. The baby is, at this point of course, sometimes fast asleep, lucky thing.

    5pm – Having done our chores, if the baby’s asleep we’ll both go for a nap. Otherwise, we take turns to get a nap. Unless we’ve been lucky enough to have a mid-afternoon nap in which case we’re both awake, ready to do chores but knowing we’re going to have a tough night ahead.

    Of course, like any plans in the wake of a baby arrival, you can rip the plan to shreds. Right now, it’s 1am and I’m still wide awake as a button having had a tea-time nap. @HyperHam and baby went to bed at 10pm fast asleep – it’s gotten easy since we introduced a dummy/pacifier today, at the suggestion of our midwife.

    and yesterday was the best celebration – thanks to a combo of evening naps and watching, @HyperHam got 5 hours of sleep. Woot!

    Sleep deprivation is very interesting – you get a very bizarre combination of rich dreams which you tend to wake up in the middle of. And of course, I’ve made some monumental cock-ups due to lack of attention due to sleep deprivation.

    • Jay 4:56 pm on February 10, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      I share your pain, we know exactly what that is like. Our little bundle of joy does pretty much the same thing, save for the constant crying and issues with wind. Once we’ve fed and winded her, she’s pretty much content, but she does like to keep us on our toes by varying the time between feeds. Sometimes she’ll go 5 hours, other times it’ll be 3 hours and as you’ve said it takes around an hour if all is going well to feed+wind, by the time we’ve washed bottles and loaded the steraliser again, settled her down into her cot etc it’s another 30 mins.

  • HyperHam 7:23 pm on February 9, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: nursing, , The Kid   

    A Math Problem 

    There are 24 hours in a day. A newborn feeds on average 8-10 times a day. Because of birth trauma and past surgery, your milk is not plentiful enough right now, and you need to do the following every single time you feed:

    Nurse on each breast for 20 mins, nappy change, followed by a formula top up, followed by much burping, followed by another 10 mins on each breast.

    Total time for one feed: 1.5 hours.
    Total time for 8 feeds: 12 hours.
    Total time remaining in day: 12 hours.
    Time between feeds, based on a 8 feed schedule: 1.5 hours, if that.

    Q: When do you sleep?

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